Mark Twain Quotes

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

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"December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, Aprll, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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Meme/Funny Quote

" The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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Positive

" The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" Let us swear while we may, for in Heaven it will not be allowed."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" Make it a point to do something every day that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" Always do right--this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

message to Young People's Society, Greenpoint Presbyterian Church, Brooklyn, New York, February 16, 1901

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular one is Providence."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.

Autobiography, 1959

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" Many public-school children seem to know only two dates--1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" A historian who would convey the truth must lie. Often he must enlarge the truth by diameters, otherwise his reader would not be able to see it."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. The theological knowledge which they conceal cannot justly be regarded as less valuable than that which they reveal. That is, when a man is buying a basket of strawberries it can profit him to know that the bottom half of it is rotten."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" There are some books that refuse to be written. They stand their ground year after year and will not be persuaded. It isn't because the book is not there and worth being written -- it is only because the right form of the story does not present itself. There is only one right form for a story and if you fail to find that form the story will not tell itself."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" The government is merely a servant -- merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" If I were required to guess off-hand, and without collusion with higher minds, what is the bottom cause of the amazing material and intellectual advancement of the last fifty years, I should guess that it was the modern-born and previously non-existent disposition on the part of men to believe that a new idea can have value."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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" Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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Friendship Life Quotes

" A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes."

~ Mark Twain Quotes

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Mark Twain was an American writer, humorist, novelist and lecturer. Everyone loves Mark Twain quotes.

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Mark Twain Quotes

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